It’s very strange looking through old photographs because they make me feel both happy and sad at the same time. But now I mostly just feel sad. Maybe because I was so happy back then. Does that make sense? It’s kind of ironic that happy memories are the ones that make you the most sad. It’s not the “wah” kind of sad you feel when you’re doubled over or curled up in a ball crying your eyes out. It’s more of the tender kind of sadness you feel when your little sister looks so pretty in her boat cruise dress and you realize she’s not so little anymore or when your friend gets married and you realize people are changing. It’s the kind of sad you feel when you see the meals your big sister makes by herself and you realize people grow up.
It’s that kind of sadness. It’s the kind of sad when you look through pictures and you realize that those are moments you can never get back and times that you can never revisit. They are just memories. Frozen moments captured in time. I don’t know why or how to explain it. I just know that instead of making me feel happy, happy memories make me feel sad.