Instead of making new year’s resolutions, I like to pick a word which becomes the theme of what I want the year ahead to look like. Last year, I chose the word ‘calm’ and I think I did a pretty good job at cultivating a sense of peace in different aspects of my life.Continue reading “Confident”
Everybody is planning costumes and dressing up and pretending to be somebody else. I am too. For the first time in years, I actually have a Halloween party to go to. I bought a blue wig which I probably will not end up wearing for very long because it will probably be very itchy.Continue reading “On Pretending to Be Somebody Else”
Apparently, teenagers go through a phase where all they do, or want to do, is sleep. This was something I never experienced – but then again, I don’t think I experienced a lot of ‘normal’ teenager activity. In the times before, I didn’t have time to nap or feel tired enough to sleep during the middle of the day. Eventually, I reached a point where I physically couldn’t ease my body into slumber because it felt awkward and I felt like there were better things to do with my time than close the curtain while the sun was shining.Continue reading “Naps”
I keep wanting to write a post about tv shows I watched recently that made me cry (spoiler alert: all of them) but when it comes down to the moment of setting pen to paper, I can’t bring myself to do it. This time it’s because I have a headache and I don’t have the energy to be emotional right now, but I think it’s also because I am a little bit frightened about knowingly putting myself through the ordeal of feeling things intensely. I guess that’s why they say facing your feelings takes courage.Continue reading “No Salsa, but Something More”
My word of the year is calm.
Calm like flowing streams and gentle skies. Calm like the field I saw from a bus window that one time in the English countryside. The one that stretched on and on with no end in sight. Even the horses were standing still.
Calm like a stretch of snow that hasn’t been stepped on yet. Like the sound of one of Mozart’s sonatas being played by unknown fingers, drifting from an open window at dusk.Continue reading “Calm”
I’ve been thinking a lot and I owe you an apology. When I think about how I made you feel, I shake my head in disbelief, feeling sick to my stomach that I treated you so poorly and with such a lack of respect and compassion.
I’m sorry that I made you question your worth and doubt that you were deserving of pleasure and joy, kindness and rest. I am sorry that I pushed you so hard and made you feel like you could enjoy yourself only when you reached the ridiculously high standards you set.Continue reading “I’m sorry; You Didn’t Deserve That”
I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. Not literally, obviously. I’m also not talking about secrets I’d rather not reveal. The skeletons I’m referring to are more of the fabric variety. Soft and silky, or patterned with lace, or frayed with ripped hems, or made up of polyester fibers.Continue reading “Skeletons in my Closet”
There comes a defining moment in every young girl’s life. I’m not talking about when she has to pick the colour of her grad dress or has to decide whether she’s Team Jacob or Team Edward. While these are, of course, very important, the moment I’m referring to is when she looks in the mirror and wishes her eyelashes were longer, her freckles not so obvious, and her lips brighter.Continue reading “New Face, New Me”
If I had to pick one consistent characteristic that I’ve carried with me from childhood, through my teenage years, and into adulthood, it would be that I’m about as bendy as a thick metal pole.Continue reading “My Morning Stretch Routine”