Tag: Life

Girl reading

A Character in my Story

It’s a rather dismal Monday night in September (a strange month for me back in the day because I would be excited for school to start while simultaneously deeply wistful that summer should be coming to an end. I have since come to learn that we, as a society, are very prone to an “either-or” mentality when it’s perfectly acceptable to think “both-and”. IE: We are allowed to feel two conflicting things and that was very comforting for me to realize and greatly reduced a lot of my inner turmoil). 

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Kazandra PangilinanLeave a comment

More Than…

There are a few remaining rays of August sunshine left and I’m sitting with my back to the window, letting myself soak it all in. I don’t do that enough. Soak things in, I mean. When I read books, I feel like I’m sometimes too motivated by needing to know what happens that I don’t savor every word, sentence, paragraph. And when I eat, I feel like I want to try everything, so I chew quickly, so that nothing runs out before I’ve had the chance. And when I walk, I stride with purpose, propelled forward by some invisible force. 

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These Moments, Too

I hear a plane flying above me, somewhere in the pure sky. There are birds chirping, somewhere in the trees. And in between all these things, somewhere in the deep folds of the universe, there’s me. I’m not doing anything spectacular – not jumping on overnight bus journeys and waking up in new cities, or trying new foods with names I can’t pronounce, or climbing volcanoes at sunrise – I’m just here, quietly existing in my own little way. 

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Sailboat

When You’re the One Left Behind

Journal Entry Written September 15, 2012 

Karina has gone to England and is most likely not coming back until December 18th. I remember thinking, on the night before she left, that this was my last night with the Karina I grew up with. She’s not going to come back the same girl. She’ll have a taste for freedom and maybe never even want to come back and I’ll probably break my heart.  She’ll do things I can’t even imagine doing and meet people I’ll never meet.  She’ll move forward and when she comes back, I’ll probably still be in the same place. 

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