I’m 30 now. I remember finishing up a piano lesson last Wednesday and looking over at the clock and seeing it was midnight. That was it; my birthday. The start of a new decade. I suppose in Canada I was still twenty-nine, but in my life in Scotland, I was thirty. I went straight to bed and woke up at 4am to watch the sunrise on Arthur’s Seat. I did that last year too, except there was too much fog and I didn’t see a thing. This year, the sky was glorious. I don’t know if that means anything; I hope it does. I hope it symbolises everything the year ahead will look like. I’m always trying to find hidden meaning in things. Maybe thirty is when you’re supposed to stop doing things like that. Maybe by the time you reach thirty, you’re supposed to realize that sometimes a sunrise is just a sunrise.
Continue reading “Thirty”Tag: Thoughts
January Walk
Lately, when I go for evening walks, it’s been cold and clear. I stuff my hands in my pockets and try to disappear inside the puffiness of my jacket. I hate being cold. I made a promise to myself once that I wasn’t going to be cold ever again if I could help it but here I am.
Continue reading “January Walk”The Light we Create
It’s dark and strangely quiet when I wake up, tiptoe to the kitchen, and look out the window while I wait for the water to boil. It’s 7:30; not even that early. But everything about the world still seems dream-like and faraway like maybe nothing is real.
Continue reading “The Light we Create”We’re All Looking at the Same Moon
There is an old man who works in a Turkish kebab shop on the street that I walk up and down most days. Sometimes, he looks busy and other times, he appears bored. He’s looking out the window, at all the people passing, and our eyes meet for half a second. It’s only when I’m already gone when I wonder if I remembered to smile.
Continue reading “We’re All Looking at the Same Moon”Dead Christmas Trees
One of the saddest sights to see is dead Christmas trees abandoned on the side of the road. Last year, when I was finally able to leave my room and go out to explore after ten days in quarantine, dead Christmas trees were one of the first sights to greet me. No longer standing upright and no longer full of bright lights and colourful baubles, they looked lonely and dejected in their nakedness. It’s a very depressing thing to see.
Continue reading “Dead Christmas Trees”Sunsets
There is something that I think everybody loves, at least a little bit, and that is a sunset. Some of us purposely take time out of our days to watch it. Others are lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. Sunsets are cherished images in love songs and puzzles and travel photos and maybe even pictures taken in the city you grew up in.
Continue reading “Sunsets”On Pretending to Be Somebody Else
Everybody is planning costumes and dressing up and pretending to be somebody else. I am too. For the first time in years, I actually have a Halloween party to go to. I bought a blue wig which I probably will not end up wearing for very long because it will probably be very itchy.
Continue reading “On Pretending to Be Somebody Else”Wistful Weather
Fall is the most wistful season and fall walks are the most wistful walks. In movies, there are always montages of people walking through parks or past their old highschool, thinking about childhood or reminiscing about old loves during fall. If spring is the season of new life then fall is definitely about the past.
Continue reading “Wistful Weather”Skies and Sadness
One time, when I was very sad, I saw a picture of the sky that someone posted on Instagram and wondered how it was possible for people to be happy and post beautiful pictures of nature when I felt the worst I had ever felt. I wanted to look at the sky and feel like maybe life wasn’t so bad. Maybe it mostly isn’t – but it took a long time to remember all the reasons why.
Continue reading “Skies and Sadness”